Some things are best left to the imagination - like the crack of a bullwhip to punctuate Mistress Elsie's commands. She shackles her slave to a bed of nails and commands him to polish her boots with his tongue ...

... but how does one know
when vinyl is polished?

Of course, there's the budget problem. Considering the price of a good pair of handcuffs and the fact that even imitation scented oil can only be bought in small quantities, even the most resourceful econo-matrix is going to need a fair amount of venture capital.

By the time Elsie gets her promotion at K-Mart and has the trailer refitted for "home entertainment" use, she'll be well past her prime, even if she shifts her meantime spending from the snack aisle to the hardware department (killing two birds with one stone), but a girl can dream ...

... and at least the tattoos are paid off.