When you're one wart shy of being Lemmy from Motorhead, wailing away at "The Ace of Spades" until your now elderly audience tries to mosh, you have to find that extra something to push you over the top. For some, it's a winning smile, perhaps a dimple that becomes apparent only when you laugh ...

... for others, it's an oversized hand with pewter rings.

And not just any rings, mind you. These rings have to be in the shape of super-eeevil cartoon ghouls who occasionally wear top hats and Nazi-style helmets to cover their protruding skulls.

I wonder how many quarters went into the machine to get them.

What could make a mall-rat's cotton damper than scary faced rings? A hairline that covers half your head? Nope... A menacing snarl? No, that's not it... The elongated quarter-moon profile of a man with a pointy chin? Hmmm... nah. I have it! No woman could resist a droopy old-West style moustache!

Someone call Marshall Dillon - there's about to be trouble.