I've come to the conclusion that marching band uniforms serve a valuable social function: they prevent the spread of certain diseases as well as teen pregnancies by utterly discouraging the very activity that leads to them. Of course, when you consider the kind of kids who join band, it seems just a little bit redundant, doesn't it? Sure, there are women who have this thing for men in uniform - but that usually involves a certain kind of uniform.

It's not like bell-hops
get a lot of action, either.

Funny thing is, when people gripe about all the educational funds that are pissed away on extracurriculars, they typically gripe about sports. I generally agree, but the fact remains that one in a few million young athletes eventually become a professional - and even if it's minor league, the wages are still more than ample for self-sufficiency. While those odds are pretty slim, what is the chance that anybody in the "horn line" will ever make a profession of it?

... or, if he does, will be able to pay his own rent?

Honestly, what do you think the wages are for the most highly compensated oompah-horn player in the most lavishly funded orchestra in the world? Considerably less than one would make selling shoes, which is probably where most of them end up. What better definition can there be for "waste" than to spend six years in a pursuit with no better benefit than strong lips? All the better to "kiss up" to assistant manager at the local clothing shop, I suppose.