I remember my grade school days - perhaps a little too well. All those hours of boredom waiting for certain of my class-mates to finish a twenty-question multiple-choice test. Sometimes, I'd pass the time imagining what kind of adults they'd turn into: who'd spend the rest of their lives behind a conveyor belt of one kind or another and who'd end up on a freight dock. Most amusing of all were the ones who'd end up in prison, especially when I mused about what they'd have done to get there, and how long they'd stay.

Ernie "Slick" McCoy
Poultry Molestation
Three to Five

When the five-year reunion rolled around, I wished I had taken notes. Tina Davis was running a cash register at the A&P, Charlie Andrews was a lead "lumper" (which can't be anything that requires wearing a necktie), and Slick McCoy was out on parole - though he'd managed to break his rooster habit, he'd tried the same technique on a cousin of his, who was attending that same junior high where I'd prophesized a decade earlier that Slick would get it in the end.

Though probably much more frequently.

At least, in the penal system, Slick could learn things he'd actually put to use: pick-up lines like "your shoe is untied" and "could you pick up that soap for me?" and ways a man can pinion someone who's six inches shorter and fifty pounds lighter. Unfortunately for Slick, the legal system has become less liberal in modern times - he'll only get two more turns before he's incarcerated for life, spending all his time on the receiving end. My guess is it won't be long before he does his next tour ...

... and learns to like it.