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Pop goes the WTC
Apologies for the lack of updates after the events of 9/11 - hope you can understand that the general mood here in NYC hasn't been conducive to joking around - but we do appreciate the notes of sympathy we've been receiving from around the world. Here are a few of the more touching expressions:
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rubens_jellicoe@hotmail.com writes:
I hope that you had a lot of friends and relatives who happened to be in the world trade center on that joyful day.
I don't think anyone here is particularly happy about that—except, maybe, for the kinds of people who are only truly happy when something bad happens. Journalists finally have something to journalize about that's more significant than where members of Congress are parking their peckers, and hordes unremarkable people with dull lives have latched onto the bombings a pretense for having a bit drama in their lives, even if they live a thousand miles away and didn't know anybody who was any closer, and have never visited New York City or even gotten on an airplane in their lives.
But on the other hand, there aren't many people who are genuinely upset, either. Although you wouldn't know it from watching CNN, life is going on pretty much as it did before for a vast majority of people. The airline industry us treating people with only slightly less regard than before (but then, anyone who plans to board and airline counts on being treated like cattle anyway) and the fellows in the mailroom are a bit more nervous than usual. Otherwise, it's business as usual.
As for me, personally, I was nowhere near it. While my apartment is only about a dozen blocks away, I was on vacation at the time and got to spend a few extra days in Antigua. Having only packed for seven days, I ran out of clean socks. Also, the dust in my apartment has been really bad ever since. Other than that, it's not been much more than a passing nuisance.
Maybe now you know what it feels like to be the victim of the kind of misery you americans routinely inflict on other countries.
First of all, you greatly overestimate the consequences. Three thousand people isn't exactly a devastating loss to a city of over 12 million, or to a country of half a billion. I'm sure that their families see things a bit differently, but it's hardly something that will have a lasting effect on a national scale ... unless, of course, that nation is Afghanistan, which will pretty much be flattened and paved over.
Second, I'm not at all aware that America routinely exterminates civilians in other countries. We might blow something up once in a while, and certainly a few politicians and business executives get assassinated from time to time in order to keep the others in line, but knocking off middle-class office workers really isn't effective in accomplishing our objectives overseas.
And finally, even the families of the victims won't really be able to identify with the daily misery that people in third-world countries face. Considering the outpouring of charity, most of them will spend the rest of their lives in relative luxury. There will be a bit of shock and a period of mourning, certainly, but that hardly compares to the generations of poverty and suffering we inflict on other countries to line our own pockets.
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ahalbi@ayranet.com writes:
THE WTC BOMB ONLY IS THE BEGINNING. AMERICA WILL FALL!
The caps-lock certainly adds drama and credibility to your threat.
Rather than taking you seriously, which no-one does, let me just remind you that America has been dominating and exploiting your country for generations—and this attack, which is the best you have ever been able to do, is merely another demonstration of your pathetic impotence.
To be succinct: our dogs are better fed than your children. Nothing that you've done or are capable of doing do will ever change that.
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nik@techniker.ltd.uk writes:
we laugh at ... the people who died in and around the WTC and their families.
I saw the news coverage of the spontaneous street parties as you celebrated our nation's tragedy. I can't say I that was particularly shocked. The baldfaced insensitivity in the face of current events is just another expression of the malicious envy that's typical of third-world countries. I don't see why anyone should expect anything better from your kind.
Just in case you are genuinely dumb, let me just labour the point that it's America's habit of stamping around the world being judgmental, arrogant, insensitive and stupid that gets its buildings flattened.
Besides the irony of calling anyone else arrogant and insensitive in light of what you've already said, I doubt that you'll get quite the results you're hoping for. If it was the intention of Bin Laden and his ilk to compel America to leave off meddling in the third world, it's had quite the opposite effect. We now have complete control of Afghanistan, with the rest of the middle east grabbing its ankles.
And if you smugly assume that it will be isolated in that sector of the globe, you might do well to remember that it was your own prime minister who hopped on a plane the very next day with a pair of knee-pads in his valise.
Americans are the most ill-informed race in the world.
I suppose your intention was to intimidate me with your intellectual superiority—but it's difficult to convince me when you don't even know the difference between a "race" and a nationality.
All the same, I'm generally impressed by the amount of attention that folks in third-world nations pay to events here in the states. 95% of Botswanese can tell you who the American President is, and name several of the more active members of congress. Meanwhile, you probably wouldn't find one in ten thousand Americans who know who the President of Botswana is ... or that they even have a president rather than a dictator or sultan or general manager ... or find that country it on a map ... or would care to research any of this information when they discovered they didn't know it.
At the same time, it would be terribly difficult to convince me that it's particularly important. What advantage does it really give you to have your tiny mind stuffed with useless trivia?
To draw an analogy, I have this cousin who's a baseball fanatic. He could tell you the batting average of every player who'd ever swung a bat in a major league stadium. Meanwhile, he's 30 years old and still lives with his parents, making minimum wage as a grocery clerk. He likes to make fun of me because I can't even name all the major league teams, and seems to be a bit annoyed that I can't be bothered to care.
I can't say that I mind his derision ... or see that you are any different.
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feelix@ozemail.com.au writes:
Well, well, well. Looks like you finally got what's coming to you.
My tax refund check arrived about a month ago, and while $300 might seem like a lot when converted to your own currency, whatever that may be, it really isn't much to celebrate about by American standards. All the same, it's a considerate gesture on the part of our government, and really refreshing to see taxes lowered for a change.
Maybe you jackoffs will think twice before you go f**king around with other countries.
Oh wait, you're talking about that other thing, aren't you?
I've only been overseas twice this year, but I didn't do much "f**king around." The local girls tend to be pretty shabby, what with the lack of adequate dental care and the unfortunate effects that medieval-age diseases have on a person's complexion. I totally sympathize with you there, dude, and can completely understand your obsession with masturbation, given the alternative.
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